Posted by Anonymous on 2014/11/08 under Uncategorized I love you, I miss you, I miss your smile, your laugh, the way you cared for me and treated me like your princess…. But I left you because you hurt me so many times, I hate the way you spoke to me like I was nothing to you, you threatened to do things you would never do to your girlfriend, your babe, your partner, the one you wanted to marry…. It’s been 1 day and 1 night since I left you, I hope with time I will get better. This is not the first time I’ve left, but I hope it’s the last. Even though my heart is aching I need to remind myself not to give in, not to go back to a relationship filled with major highs and lows. I still love you and I feel like I’m going to for a long time yet, but I can not give in even if I am torn with tears every night for the next few months, I can do it. I keep telling myself to remember all the terrible times we had, all the fights, arguements and battles over whimsical bulls***. I regret ever letting these moments reach the scale of pain and misery that I now feel. It’s not all your fault, half of it is mine. I just don’t want it anymore. It was killing me inside. I hope one day I will learn from my mistakes and never end up feeling this way again or at least know that I wasn’t partly the cause of my own unhappiness…… I’m starting to cry because every car I hear nearing my bedroom window sounds like yours… I look up and wonder if it will stop but it doesn’t. Then I realise I’ve been doing that for a year, hoping, waiting, wishing that your here. How am I ever going to get over you when everything reminds me of you. I just need to learn to deal with it, but it’s just so damn hard. I know you love me, but why do you hurt me? Why did I feel uncomfortable around my partner of 1 year? Why were you so good yet so bad at the same time? Is that how you are? I can only think so. I was or am still attached to the love we had. I know you’re bad for me, but you were also so good to me. I never thought I’d fall in love with someone who was like you. I loved all your good points and tried to ignore all the bad points. In the end, which I hope is now, I question my self worth. I shouldn’t have enabled you to treat me that way. I was a little 19 year old girl who found her first love. He just happened to also be the first guy she grew to hate. Ash